Sharp Disputes and Relationships

In youth group this Sunday we finished up a series on relationships. We specifically talked about how relationships change over time. Sometimes you step away from people you once had a great relationship with because of a disagreement or a different vision.

That was the case with Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15. Paul and Barnabas had to manage their “sharp dispute” over the effectiveness of bringing John Mark with them on their missionary journey.

Here’s the story: And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus (Acts 15:36-39). 

As I read through that passage and the rest of the account throughout the book of Acts, I observed four things that I think can help when it comes to relationships.

1. They stepped back. They realized they may need to get away from the situation and not continually let this one thing be a problem.

2. They gave it time. They knew that they were not going to solve their differences and needed to take some time away from each other.

3. They didn’t let it distract them. They ultimately had a mission to live out, and neither one of them were willing to let this stop them from that.

4. They remained friendly. Each of them continued to speak highly of each other and found each other’s ministry beneficial. In fact, I feel they kept in touch because Paul had to have heard of what was going on in the life of John Mark when, in the letter to Timothy, he writes that he is beneficial to his ministry.

It’s not easy to have sharp disputes with people, and often navigating that relationship after the dispute is one of the most difficult things to do. If we’re not careful, we can fall into the trap of gossiping and slandering the people who were once close to us. We could all learn something from the way that Paul and Barnabas handled their “sharp dispute.”

How to Get Planted in a Community

A few weeks ago I preached a sermon titled, “Stop Going to Church.”

The premise was that simply attending church is not going to lead anyone to the kind of spiritual growth or community that God wants for us. If we are going to really, truly grow in Him, then we need to invest in a local church and plant ourselves in that community.

I thought about the way that the Bible describes the righteous, comparing them to trees that are planted by rivers of water, and then thought of ways that we can PLANT ourselves in our local church. Here are the five ways below. You can also watch the video summary of this part of the sermon by clicking here. 

5 WAYS to PLANT Yourself in a Community

Prioritize participation: You cannot be planted in a community by attending once a month. Unless we place a priority on participation–even when it isn’t convenient–we will not be planted.

Let others into your life: It is one thing to participate, or attend regularly; it is completely different to allow others to be involved in your life. I often do not want to let people in because I am either fearful of what they will think of me or do not feel I can trust them to be around for the long haul. There are many reasons people do not let others into their lives, but it is essential for community.

Accept accountability: Being planted in a community means that I will be accountable to others in that same community. There are expectations. If I want to belong, I have to accept that there will be things asked of me. This is often not an easy step, but it is important nonetheless.

Nurture relationships with Jesus: In a church community, we often talk about all kinds of things except our relationships with Jesus. This is one of the most important parts of being part of a Christian community. We all need to seek ways to encourage others in their relationship with Jesus. This nurturing of each other will give us spiritual growth like we’ve never seen, and we will begin to delight in the Lord.

Trust in the Lord: The final thing is to trust God, both in the good times and in the bad times. Things are not always going to be incredibly good in the community where you have chosen to plant yourself. Things might even get ugly. There might be storms that come your way. But a part of being planted is to trust God alongside those who are planted around you in the good times and the bad times.

These are five things you can focus on as you seek to plant yourself in a community.

Which one of these is hardest for you personally?

Leave a comment below.

Leading Small

One of the priorities for our student ministry is to connect kids to caring adults who can share and show them that Jesus changes everything. Part of what we value is that our small groups can make a big impact. I’ve seen it time and time again. More happens in small groups than happens in a large group, even though we often place major emphasis on large group gathering times.

That being said, we are working on embracing the lead small strategy in our student ministry, which helps small group leaders make a bigger impact than they even think they can. Here are the Five Major Strategies of Leading Small.

1. Be present: Connect students’ faith to a community – everybody needs somebody who knows their name and knows what is happening in their life. I like to think of this as the “Cheers effect.” We want to go where everybody knows their name. We want students to feel accepted and part of a community. That’s why Consistency is important.

2. Create a safe place: Students need to know that tension is okay. That they ought to be wrestling with their faith. Even this past Sunday we talked about the fact that they must own their faith. It can’t be something they inherit. If we believe that to be true, they need to have a safe place where they can discuss their doubts and get clarity in their faith as they grow. 

3. Partner with parents: Strong faith is a daily faith. Parents have more of an impact on students than small group leaders do. That’s why we seek to partner with parents and encourage parents to partner with small group leaders. Family is important.

4. Make it personal: Good small group leaders can show their students a faith that is real. The people who have made the most impact in my life have done it by showing me how Jesus changes things. They’ve done it by modeling faith to me and inspiring me to “follow them as they follow Christ.”

5. Move them out: Small groups that only focus inward are not healthy. God wants us to be on mission. We need to engage their faith in a bigger story. We are working on moving them out so they can serve others and figure out how to Live to Give. 

Keeping these five strategies in mind will improve small groups. They will help us realize that we have a great role to play with those in our sphere of influence.

 

The Church in France

I recently returned from a trip to France for family vacation, and, while I was there, I remembered what some of my missionary friends had told me about religion in the country. 

As my family and I gazed at the Notre Dame Cathedral (which is closed due to the recent fire that took down the famous spire), my heart turned toward the state of the church in the country. 

I decided to do some research and found a site that gives some unbelievable statistics about the state of the evangelical church in France. 

Here are some of the numbers:

  • 1.2% of France’s population is evangelical. 
  • There are more than 300 towns with over 10,000 inhabitants that do not have an evangelical presence. 
  • The average size of a French church is 50-75 (this number is up from 35-50). 
  • There are six mega churches (1000+) reported to exist in France. 
  • Thirty five churches are planted each year in France. 
  • The number of evangelical churches in France—which has a population of 70 million—is 2,521 (that is one church per 27,767 inhabitants)

I have returned with a burden to pray for the gospel to spread throughout France. 

May God give those who are currently working there insight and favor as they preach the gospel, and may He open the hearts of the next generation in France to hear the gospel and respond to it in ways we have never seen before. 

May the churches be more than monuments to the past. May they become testaments to the living God and His redeeming work for all mankind. 

Will you join me in praying for France?

An Easy Method to Get to Know People

Sometimes it’s difficult to start conversations with students. Sometimes, you spend what feels like hours with someone without ever actually having a real conversation or learning anything about them.

One of our main goals on Sunday nights is to “connect students to caring adults who will share and show them Jesus,” Well…the good news is that we have students. We have caring adults.

Now we need to do the “connecting” part.

One of the best ways to connect is to talk (duh). But sometimes that’s difficult. I want to give you a guide to begin a conversation with a student. You may have heard this before. It’s the FROG method.

Each letter stands for something—Family, Recreation, Occupation, and Goals. These categories will help as you try to connect with students.

FAMILY: Ask about parents, siblings, family traditions (how’s your family celebrating whatever holiday is coming up), etc. If you know something about the parents, ask how they’re doing. Remember to avoid yes or no questions and don’t worry about going too deep here. We’re just trying to connect a little here.

RECREATION: What do they do in their spare time? What did they do this weekend? If you know they play a sport, ask how that’s going or when the next game is (bonus points for going to watch them play). This should be an easy category with students. If you don’t know what they’re into, ask. They’ll tell you.

OCCUPATION: I realize most of our students aren’t working, but they do go to school. It’s kind of their occupation right now. Ask how that’s going. Ask about their favorite subject. What they’ve done lately. If they’re in any clubs (that might fall under recreation). How their teachers are this year. What they’re learning. Etc.

GOALS: You can ask students about future plans. What they (might) want to study. What they’re doing next break. What their hopes and dreams are. You get the idea.

The point it that these categories should help you when you’re sitting there waiting with students for an event to start or just see them sitting around the lobby at church. Take advantage of the time to have a conversation and connect with them.